By Will Sturgeon, 1 April 2005 00:10
NEWS US academics have conducted research into the well-known phenomenon of 'Shakespeare's Monkeys' – which claims an infinite number of monkeys using an infinite number of typewriters would eventually write the complete works of the Bard – and have discovered it would not hold true if the primates were typing on an Apple Mac.
Scientists at the University of Utah conducted experiments using 20 primates over a three-month period and found that their subjects largely shunned the four Macs running OS X in favour of keyboards attached to four machines running Windows XP.
The closest thing to a Shakespearian line typed on the Macs was 'Ham', which the scientists recorded as three correct characters from the title of Hamlet, however, one machine running Windows XP recorded "It is the green-eyed m" – 22 correct characters from the text of tragedy Othello.
Dr Johan Klaas from the department of behavioural studies at the University of Utah, told silicon.com: "We were surprised by the results. The majority of the primates we used appeared to be far more comfortable using Windows."
"The correct character comparison of 22 to three suggests the primates were more than seven times more confident on Windows-based machines," he added.
Klaas told silicon.com that 124 keyboards were replaced during the 90-day experiment after they were damaged in various ways – from being beaten against the ground to being covered in faeces.
The primates' dislike of the Mac keyboard appeared even to manifest itself here too, with the destroyed keyboard count numbering 93 to 31 in favour of those attached to the Windows machines.
Klaas told silicon.com: "Whatever people say about infinite outcomes and infinite possibilities this research makes me think monkeys would never write the entire works of Shakespeare using a Mac."
"But," added Klaas, "they'd sure break a lot of keyboards trying."
The most commonly opened application was also on the Windows PCs with the primates appearing to develop a fondness for Outlook.
Comments
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1. anonymous
Alternate title:
Apes prefer Windows
2. James Billing
Just goes to show that only monkies like to use Windoze
3. anonymous
"Even monkeys wouldn't use a Mac"
Is the wrong title, and obvious spin.
The appropriate title, as evidenced by the study, is:
"Study Shows Monkeys Prefer Windows"
Sheesh. Get it right next time!
4. anonymous
I would have thought "Monkeys prefer Windows" to be a more informative headline for this article.
So who exactly is surprised by this revelation anyway?
5. joe
shouldn't the title be, "Only a monkey would use a PC?"
regards
6. Robert Jung
Conclusive proof that Windows users are no smarter than monkeys, I'd say. ;-)
7. anonymous
You know this was coming... ;-)
Only monkeys prefer Windoze :-p
8. anonymous
I've always belived that it takes a simian to like the Windows OS. Maybe it take a human to appreciate a Mac? All that aside, it is interesting research.
9. anonymous
Alternate titles:
You don't have to have a degree to run Windows.
Windows: making the masses more productive.
Even the most non-technical users can run Windows with ease.
10. anonymous
Windows is easier to use then.
So simple that even a monkey could use it. I believe that this was supposed to be one of the main selling points for Macs.
If you chose a Mac because you found it easier to use than Windows then that puts you below a monkey in the computer user league! ;-)
11. anonymous
It's a monkey business (copy effect). One monkey copies another monkey.
12. anonymous
april fools?
13. Jim
Nice one. April 1st rules OK.
14. Scott Scott
Only monkeys would believe this story on April 1st.
15. David Gaskill
The machine clock was consistently reset by the monkeys on both the PCs and the Macs. Dr Klaas was unable to explain why the monkeys invariably reset the date to the 1st April...
David
16. anonymous
and what's the date???????????? Thanks for making me smile
17. Simon Collins
A truly excellent april fools! I've forwarded it round the office and am now sitting back and watching the mac-freaks explode as they read it... :-D
18. Simon Collins
A truly excellent april fools! I've forwarded it round the office and am now sitting back and watching the mac-freaks explode as they read it... :-D
19. Carl Bennett
Learning that monkeys prefer Windows and Outlook isn't news. Any fule no that.
20. Sam Evans
Interestingly,independent research at the University of Texas, Austin, shows that you can fool an ape most of the time, but a monkey on only one day of the year.
21. Andyts
Has anyone noticed the date!!!!
22. Sam Evans
Interestingly,independent research at the University of Texas, Austin, shows that you can fool an ape most of the time, but a monkey on only one day of the year.
23. Duncan Gibb
What's the date today?
24. anonymous
er...people...you have noticed the date of the article, haven't you...?
25. Monkey Man
Apes do better computing on windows
26. anonymous
Look at the date
27. Nick
I wonder who funds this foolish research every April?
Mind you I can quite believe it's findings!
28. anonymous
Too busy supporting your personal prejudice, sorry preference, in OS to notice the date ?
29. Simon Collins
A truly excellent april fools! I've forwarded it round the office and am now sitting back and watching the mac-freaks explode as they read it... :-D
30. Keith.Trangmar
Surely someone's having a chuckle here (aside from me, as I read it) - remember today's date....
31. anonymous
I can't believe how many people fall for the April 1st story year after year...
32. Sam Evans
Interestingly, independent research at the University of Texas, Austin, has shown that you can fool an ape at any time, but a monkey on only one day of the year.
33. Sam Evans
Interestingly, independent research at the University of Texas, Austin, has shown that you can fool an ape at any time, but a monkey on only one day of the year.
34. Loof Lirpa
There is already concrete proof that millions of monkeys with millions of keyboards will create little of any value. It's called the Internet.
35. Dr Who
Well that just proves that the Mac lovers and there "its more user friendly than the PC" talk is just pure bull. You like to pay over the odds just to have shiny transparent plastic wannabe PC. Shame your all so far up your own backside to notice this. Even monkeys wouldn’t use one! That must make you what? Donkeys?
36. Evert Hadjurl Legg-puhled
Hmm. Proof that Mac users have no sense of humour, or time.
37. Michael Carter
Seriously why do they research these things. It takes no effort at all to say "An infinite number of monkey's typing on an infinite number of computers would eventually type the entire works of shakespeare" There aren't an infinite number of monkeys or computers and they and us would probably be extinct before it happened. Plus with the volume of crap data produced you probably couldn't supply enough storage to hold it and the search to find the text would probably take decades. So why oh why do they bother doing the research ?
To wind up Mac users ?
Money well spent I'd say ;-)
38. anonymous
Good april fool
39. anonymous
Perhaps this article has something to do with today's date.
April Fools?
40. anonymous
'OS zealots fail to check their calendars' might be a more appropriate headline?
41. Michael Carter
Oh btw there's no april fool like a Mac user !!!
Good one !
42. anonymous
I'd change the title to 'Windows is for primates', something Mac users have always understood...
43. Alan G
What day is it?
44. Kong
Ah, I love the first of April...
45. Tim
Well done the Silicon - you got some people fooled, but not everyone. Honestly, Macs and monkeys...
46. anonymous
8 OUT OF 10 APRIL FOOLS PREFER WINDOWS TOO!
47. Neil Robinson
So which one is the April Fool? This story or the RFID in food?
48. Chris Anderson
Shouldn't the title be "Mac Users are more Gullable"?
49. Chris Anderson
Shouldn't the title be "Mac Users are more Gullable"?
50. May Mousse
My cat sat on the Mac...
and accidentally turned out the first two pages of Finnegans Wake.
51. Chris Anderson
Shouldn't the title be "Mac Users are more Gullable"?
52. Mac users make me laugh!
Conclusive proof that Windows users are apes? More like conclusive proof that Mac users don't have calendars!
Has anyone with more than one mouse button figured out what day it is yet?
53. Neville Byford
Well - it is 1st April...!
54. Mark SPLINTER
happy april fool's day silicon!
55. Cilla
Maybe not quite in the league of Panorama's documentary on the spaghetti harvest.... but it was still a great laugh
56. Cilla
Maybe not quite in the league of Panorama's documentary on the spaghetti harvest.... but it was still a great laugh
57. anonymous
A recent study at Edinburgh University found that monkeys were turned off by the works of shakespeare but responded positively to more contemporary works of Potter, Bleasdale, Bainbridge and Amis. Clearly the Utah research was based on a false premise, though the Edinburgh researchers were using British monkeys.....
58. peter nicholls
They obviously do have a calender
just check the date!
59. anonymous
A recent study at Edinburgh University found that monkeys were turned off by the works of shakespeare but responded positively to more contemporary works of Potter, Bleasdale, Bainbridge and Amis. Clearly the Utah research was based on a false premise, though the Edinburgh researchers were using British monkeys.....
60. Loof Lirpa II
No, Macs send you ape-sh*t.
61. anonymous
The only thing that surprises me about this story is that it wasn't pennd by an 'April Loof' or other such anagram.
Love all the comments from the various gullible techies.
62. Nigel Hughes
Riiiiigghhtttt.... This proves true the saying "Many hands make light work"... Or do I mean fools?
63. anonymous
Erm... has no-one noticed the today's date?
64. anonymous
anyone notice today's date..?
65. anonymous
anyone notice today's date..?
66. Richard
Thanks Silicon, funnier than "Today" on BBC Radio 4.
67. anonymous
This has got to be an April fools!
68. anonymous
HELLO MAC USERS what is the date today, say no more. People with brains use PC's with windows!!!!!!
69. April
Oh Mac lovers! such fools!
go and get yourselves a cup of coffee!
70. Jim Pansey
Were they wireless keyboards?
It was impressive that the primates could boot up teh machines and open the word processors to do this.
They were probably upset that there was no Monkey porn on the computers (did any one check the web caches?)
Nice April fools!
71. Simon
Hmm, April 1st
Not sure whether to put this down as a hoax, as 'flame bait', or a genuine report on genuine research (but why ?).
72. David Hudson
All you Mac lovers - Look at the date of the article!!
73. anonymous
and the date today is?
74. Charles Brown
I suspect the answer to "why do they bother researching topics this like that?" is that they probably don't. It is April the first after all ... or am I being overly suspicious?
75. Bubbles
This is nothing new my company employs many monkeys, apparently something about paying peanuts........
Really must dash now - it's banana break.
76. Julian Sharp
Does the title reflect the author's bias? Wouldn't a more accurate title be "Research proves Windows is ideal for a chimps' tea party"?
77. S. Jobs
Good one. 1st of april eh?
78. Avrilina Folie
Perhaps the chimps attending the tea-party would have more success if they p-picked up a Penguin on the way?
79. Olaf Pirol
Many primates fear that which is not familiar. Often presenting violent, unreasoned reactions when exposed to something new. It can take a great deal of coaxing for them to accept that something different can, in fact, be better.
80. Paul Tansom
Nobody has yet commented on the fact that if you put an equivalent number of people infront of the machines you would probably get an equivalent number of broken keyboards and a similar amount of the works of Shakespeare.
On the other hand, if you looked at the Macs you would probably find lovingly cared for keyboards and wonderful original literature being produced with full colour graphics and some multimedia works as well.
Of course this sort of research is very difficult to do given the fact that you only get half a day a year to actually work on it ;)
The conclusion being, of course, is that it takes no intelligence to produce rubbish on a PC. Those with little intilligence shun the Mac since it allows those with a more of the little grey cells to lift themselves above the masses. Put another way, the PC levels the playing field by enforcing those more capable to produce rubbish too ;)
(Glad I read that story, I had honestly not taken in the date until I did!).
81. Malcolm Ripley
Report from Zod of the reptilian planet Vespia. Earth is populated by apes. There are some apes who are more advanced than others. There are hairy apes and hairless apes and both work together. There are distinct differences but also some mixes. All advanced apes are hairless. All hairy apes are primitive. Some hairless apes are also primitive but can be distinguised from the advanced apes by the tools they use.
Primitive apes (hairy and hairless) use the same tools called an XP.
Advanced apes use a completely different tool called a Mac.
Communication maybe possible with the advanced ape but the primitive ape will simply offer you a hot brown liquid.
82. anonymous
Most Apes prefer Windows, & most humans too.
83. anonymous
Hello Mac Lovers - What date is it!!!!!!!!!!!!
84. anonymous
Most Apes prefer Windows, & most humans too.
85. Richard Holyoak
Only a monkey would believe this story on April 1st.
86. anonymous
and the date is .....
87. Monkey
Er, what's the date today again?
88. Richard Howlett
Doh! It's April Fools Day. And anyway, it's a well know fact that monkeys prefer good alod fashioned Olivetti typewriters!
89. Dan
*sigh*
Look at the date people...
90. Mac Monkey
Did no-one check the date before responding to this story?
91. anonymous
Give 20+ Mac users the same provocative headline and they will all come up with the same joke.
Sooo predictable. I thought most Mac users were supposed to arty creative types?
Still its quite fun to play upon their insecurities, they're so easy to wind up!
And before you say it, yes, Windows insecurities are easy to play upon too!
From a man able to criticise the OS he uses.
92. anonymous
A recent study at Edinburgh University found that monkeys were turned off by the works of shakespeare but responded positively to more contemporary works of Potter, Bleasdale, Bainbridge and Amis. Clearly the Utah research was based on a false premise, though the Edinburgh researchers were using British monkeys.....
93. John Sturridge
I think a more appropriate title for the piece is:
"Monkeys prefer Windows machines over Apple Macs"
(An Apple Mac user)
94. Real I Ng'fsh
Ah with a name like that and to paraphrase with poetic licence from The Bard
Somthing smells fishy in the state......
95. anonymous
April fools!
96. Pandemonium
Microsoft employ this method for writing operating systems dont they? Rumour has it that an infinite number of Monkeys there have been working on Longhorn as they did with XP and 2000
97. Webgurl
Monkeys are not very smart so of course they would choose Windows.
98. Lars DeRuntz
But it was Original Mac+ vs. 3GHz P4 PC's! Now is that a fair comparison? They also didn't use Linux as a control group! The study was flawed and the researches knew it!!
In fact the researchers knew it was April Fools Day!!
99. Mario Lobo
Well it is a shame not because of the experiments about Macs but because these people dedicate themeselves to studying monkeys instead of the Bard's work, the difference is that the bard understood what he was writing the monkeys will never do, the academics in all their prime dont do either by the nature of this experiment, a true tragedy is that the bard's work is greatly understudied here in america it is also misunderstood, its also a shame that anyone would try and prove the works of Shakespeare as being a juxtopositional series of ideas inherently available to a universal collective unconscious encompassing both animals and humans. as far as for the experiments about macs and pcs, it is common notion that people(not monkeys) would choose a system that's adequate enough, in other words average, now if the monkeys wanted to edit videos or make music or would in some bizarre fashion require an interface that was more productive and not just something to pound on, then they would choose a Mac, the monkeys know better than that, stay away from what will make you productive, or intelligent or make you aware that the current interface(WXP) is a clumsy collection of endless dialog boxes and menus taking you nowhere and making you stay an un-evolved primate(both man and monkey) Ciao baby
100. anonymous
Wonders!!! My monkey came up with Einstein relativity theory on Mac.
101. Wayne Faircloth
Which monkeys funded this research?
102. Ken Munn
Which, despite the fact that it's April 1st, reminds me of another version of Shakespeare's Law.
"If you gave an infinite number of rednecks an infinite numbers of rifles and an infinite number of roadsigns, eventually they would write Hamlet in braille."
103. Tim
Hey, I'm a Mac user and I knew it was a joke! I forwarded it a Windows friend who took it seriously though.
I suspect this story is going to end up being retold by people as fact. Scary.
104. anonymous
Sad thing is, only 1 monkey given 1 month will generate code beter than that of windows
105. Ham
a green eye...ififih eh ham ham
106. Professor Don Quay
Contradicts research done with donkeys.
Despite only one letter difference in the animals name, research I conducted with donkeys learning to count by striking a bucket with a hoof, tends to contradict the monkey finding.
Once the donkeys spied the nearby Dell they would always take to clattering that instead of the bucket with their hooves, despite a 15" PowerBook also lying closeby.
107. Disappointed Dog Owner
A Mac by any other name would smell as sweet, forsooth.
That's what my Dog typed on our Mac keyboard, whilst on his Palm pilot, all he could manage was: "Me hungry" which is quite pathetic really. I mean the grammar was wrong, and it's not even a proper sentence!
108. Adam
It proves a point -
Only monkeys use PCs
109. anonymous
This is just about the stupidest conclusion anyone could make. Which are the monkeys? Why would anyone give a chimp a computer? Freakin idiots....
110. Marconi
It takes a certain intelligence level to recognize Mac's superiority and neither monkeys, nor most corporate IT managers, have attained that level. Perhaps after they're evolved a bit more.
Meanwhile, the lower life forms will continue to be attracted to whatever their friends are doing -- the herd mentality. That, plus bright, shiny things.
111. anonymous
Conclusive proof that Windows was designed for monkeys and the Mac OS was designed for humans. Apparently this also means most of our population are no smarter than monkeys. ;)
112. Sebastian McGauran
well, what does that tell you about Windows predominate user base? :D
who has the time and money (and Monkeys) to do such a rediculous test. Clearly a stupid animal chooses windows over a Mac.
113. marcus
hehe. that says it all:
windos-user are closer to monkeys than people that working on macs …
;)
114. PSGInfinity
That was a funny, worthwhile article. Thanks for the laugh! Could it be that the Mac's subtle beauty and efficiency is lost on those, such as monkeys, with lesser intellect?