By Seb Janacek, 18 February 2009 12:58
COMMENT
How can a self-professed Mac fan hate Apple's retail establishments? Seb Janacek explains
Over the years I have come to truly loathe Apple Stores.
I've been in five now, all in the UK, and they all make me queasy. They shouldn't do, because they're full of gleaming new Apple kit, line upon line of MacBooks and tiny, shiny chromatic MP3 players. Mmm lovely. My problem is with the people who work in the Apple Stores.
Let me share a recent experience. A month ago, my iPhone headphones started giving me electric shocks in my ears.
Just little shocks but unpleasant nonetheless. They shouldn't be electrocuting me - I know this because I checked the manual.
Given I insured my iPhone, I figured my headphones were also covered. They are. My friend Adam got a new pair by taking them into the Apple Store and shouting at the staff until he got a replacement set.
Being a meeker soul than my friend, I tried the polite approach. A dreadlocked, pasty-faced girl with enough metal in her face to cause a full-scale security shutdown in Terminal 5 approached me with a reassuring smile on her lips and a patronising look in her eyes. "Hey, can I help you?" No, apparently not.
I explained the problem and was told to book an appointment with a Genius - although not for another week because they were all very busy.
I made the appointment and headed home. In silence, obviously, out of fear of tiny bolts of lightning bouncing off my eardrums.
On the day of my appointment, I turned up with my iPhone headphones and MacBook Pro for the lunchtime appointment with my Genius - only to find no employees had made it to the store on account of two heady inches of snow.
This I suspected because the day's post was sat behind the door in an untidy pile, totally at odds with the perfectly straight lines of notebooks, iMacs, iPhones and sundry that lay tantalisingly beyond.
I wondered why they had bothered taking my iPhone number and MobileMe email address - surely it was for precisely an occasion.
With no other options, I went online and made another appointment for later that day.
However, this anecdote is not the only reason why I dislike Apple Stores. Although the experience has done little to help my opinion.
It's definitely the Apple Store employees I have a problem with - but it isn't entirely their fault. UK Apple Store employees are not individuals; they are an extension of Apple's brand, messaging and retail strategy.
Given the company's overtly US focus, the messaging is very American - more precisely, Californian - in its tone. This might work well in the US and indeed it does given how profitable the Stores are per square metre. It's just that when the same formula is applied to UK stores something is lost in translation.
First there's that Californian demeanour: self-satisfied, unruffled, unhurried and slightly unshaven. It almost makes me feel like rooting for the PC guy. Almost.
Then there's that attitude. I don't want to answer another question about how often I edit HD video on my iMac while you press your finger against the bottom of your nose and nod sagely. I just want you to tell me how many in-store 1TB external hard drives support Firewire 800.
(Very few apparently - these days 'Firewire' is a dirty word in Apple Stores.)
And before you accuse all Mac users or Apple fans of being smug and unshaven, we're not. At least not smug. I don't want faux interest and excessive nods in an Apple Store any more than I want a gigahertz obsession from a teenage, mono-browed PC-selling shop employee for whom Apple is a dirty word.
In UK Apple Stores the cultural mismatch seems forced and awkward simply because it is. It's a second-rate impression of an ideal done by people with no real talent for ventriloquism.
Naturally, this is a personal thing. Apple Stores may be great for first-time buyers, or people who liked to be asked if they need help once every minute, or foreign exchange students who need to instant message mama back home.
Personally, I'll be sticking with my local reseller. The guy who's looked after me for 10 years doesn't furrow his brow in mock interest to my questions and even gives me a discount from time to time.
Even though he can't really afford to and I shouldn't really accept it, given there are a lot less people working in the shop than prior to the opening of the shiny Apple Store half a mile away.
At least he knows me for the Mac-obsessed, though technically inept, customer I am - rather than a Luddite who has failed to grasp how video podcasting could release my untapped creativity.
It's a kind of customer service worth treasuring and almost one worth being electrocuted for.
Comments
There are 21 comments. Join the discussion
1. RattyUK
It seems the rest of the computer-buying public disagree with you.
There is also something very English about hating anything Apple.
"Personally, I'll be sticking with my local reseller. The guy who's looked after me for 10 years doesn't furrow his brow in mock interest to my questions and even gives me a discount from time to time."
Well that was the way in the UK, understated, buy from my mate, who happens to be an Apple reseller.
I think where you are actually going with this is the little homespun "English way of doing things is much better?" Well you know what? It isn't.
2. anonymous
Just wondering if those earbud shocks might have fried your brain cells. ;-)
You seem to be complaining for the sake of complaining. You don't need an appointment to have a warranty replacement. The Apple Store was probably not the only store in town that was closed due to the snow. Apple Stores only carry a sampling of other manufacturers' products; they can't be expected to have every 1TB FW800 hard drive in their shop. And, what is a "Californian demeanour"? Could it be any worse than your own?
3. Anthony Hunt
The Apple shop you describe sounds exactly like PC world. Different uniform, less profit per square metre, but essentially the same experience.
What works in the US for customer service (and it does work) doesn't work here because of a totally different work ethic in the UK.
In recent years customer service has become "nuisance disposal" and faking a "have a nice day" attitude rings hollow because it isn't a genuine attitude. That's why the nodding and the grunge affectations are just annoying.
4. Lawrence Gray
The words Mac and Service don't go together. The whole aim of the Apple is to deny any problem is anything to do with their product... it's the user that is at fault. It's the non-apple software. It's the non-apple device you've attached. It's the lack of the latest update. It's the latest update that you shouldn't have loaded on without consulting the software manufacturer of any of the other programmes you have. It's keeping your computer on too long. it's not keeping your computer on long enough. It's filling your disk with too much. It's not reading the manual. It's... hold on I'll put you through to an expert in this... zzzzzzzzzz....
5. anonymous
Great observations Seb, I'm not an Apple-ite but a few good friends are and it's interesting to see Applestaff's reactions to me being a PC user - instant scoff, put-down, bad body language, disposable comment - they're all there all the time. I can use a Mac, but the human experience that is Mac isn't really a very good one I feel. I'm wondering if they all have chips in their necks controlled by an Airport somewhere in the ceiling. My real worry is that they are like this in real life when the shop closes. Most concerning!
:o)
6. David Dewick
Some years ago I made an phone enquiry about getting some Scottish cobbles for my front garden. Several months later I visted the company that I'd rung. The lady there remembered my call and had all my details to hand, helped me select the material and arranged to get it delivered.
There are times when you come away from doing business when you just sit back and say "what an amazing experience" because you were treated with civility, politness and as a real human being, and because the firm was obviously well organised. If that's the British way, then long may it continue.
Seb, I agree with your comments whole-heartedly.
7. David Gaskill
I forwarded to this article to a friend of mine who is a " Machead". This was his comment:
Quite how you can get electric shocks from headphones attached to a phone - I cannot imagine. Maybe it says something about the brain (or lack of it) between the headphones whilst in use.
8. anonymous
The fact that they call their shop assistants "Geniuses" sums up Apple really. Like the pinnacle of genius is getting a job in a high street shop.
Imagine where science would be today had Einstein said "Hey, forget all these new physics theorems, I'm off to flog some shiny overpriced kit to some stupid technophobes who think its cool".
BTW RattyUK, the British way of doing things is better, as long as you're in Britain. Just as the American way is best kept in America.
9. j
Anonymous: if he "didn't need to make an appointment for a warranty replacement" then why was he asked to make one by the apple droid?
Or is the problem more with your lack of reading skills?
10. anonymous
RattyUK - wow, sounds like you have a few issues to deal with. I happen to be an Apple fan, but don't think you'd need to look far to find Apple haters, even in the good ol' USA.
11. anonymous
US residents over the age of 20 aren't keen on the very same things...
12. anonymous
I too think that the problem lies with the fact that as far as Apple are concerned the rest of us are all just poor ignorant souls who know nothing.
I have a friend with a shiny new Iphone which he is desperate to get rid of. It is slow with poor call quality and regularly freezes and has to be rebooted. But according to Apple, these things only ever happen to P.C. users. Apple equipment never goes wrong and if it does then we never admit it.
Can we have a dose of reality please Apple, and then I might change my views.
13. anonymous
Ignoring the insults from those that probably seem to treat PC vs. MAC as an almost religious war, there are a couple of fair points here.
The first is that the British just don't do service, and are grudging and unpleasant when forced to do so.
The second is that the British way of doing things is the local small business, which is better than the big bad corporate.
Well to my mind both are true, and explains why "service" from large British companies is such a deeply unpleasant experience. In a large company (or government organisations), most people simply don't care about the service they are supposed to be providing, they're just doing a job in which they take no pride whatsoever. Conversely, someone running a small business not only understands that they have to please their custoemrs but are also committed to what they are doing.
My reading of it is that small businesses the world over are more committed to the service they are providing, but large companies in Britain are worst than most when it comes to treating their customers with contempt.
14. anonymous
'Book an appointment with a Genius' is the language of someone who would not recognise a mocking tone of voice, never mind irony. Yes, the Regent St store is full of spaced-out 'assistants', but it is all on a par with with concepts like 'your emailing experience', as opposed to just using a facility.
15. EdNetman
While I use both Mac and PC, I LOATH going in to an Apple Store. The attitudes of these guys when I tell them it has to work in my mixed Windows/Mac/Linux environment is amazing. They can't seem to grasp that someone may want to used something other than OS X! I guess the Cali attitude bugs me because I never drank the kool-aid, but I wanted you to know that Apple stores and eve some of their products can annoy those in the US as much as those in the UK.
16. Simon Allen
I am a Microsoft HATER but I have to use their products for all the usual reasons. I am well disposed towards Apple but my first experience of their software, iTunes has warned me that Apple are very good at Marketing. So consider me even handed in this argument.
It was instructive that three comments were from 'macheads' who had zero sympathy. There was no, "I'm sorry to hear that you did not have a good experience" they blamed the customer for their approach. Don't forget that the customer IS the customer!!! What they want is what the company must provide, or politely decline. Getting the customer to do it the company way is called Microsoft!
Customer Service Big/Small companies. The answer in the UK is that it used not to matter whether the company was big or small. Everyone worked to be good at this. Following the recession of 89/92 it all changed.
It changed because the big companies saved the money and wages of customer services staff and handling. They did this by largely following the the USA model of call centres. This is NOT bashing the US, just repeating that what worked Stateside - did not work here.
Small companies are better at service because they HAVE to be. But there will always be the exceptions in both large and small.
Having worked in service industries all my life - and now being self employed - I have seen the changes. To be blunt, I am 52 years old and remember customer service before it was called customer service!
17. anonymous
I think most of the problem is because the British in retail are surly, chippy and unhelpful, the class system now operating at full throttle in reverse where the customer is basically treated like pond life. Being paid min wage doesn't help matter. It isn't just Apple - this gleeful refusal to move when faced with 5cm of snow is to be found everywhere in the UK.
18. Jon Strong
I'm bemused by the comments.
I was in the Regent Street Store yesterday to ask advice on a networking issue that I explained with a diagram. The person who helped was courteous and knew what he was talking about. Gave me the low cost option and the Apple option. Maybe this is why I've bought macs at way over the prices of competitor products.
While I don't find the dress sense my own, they could probably say the same of me. What I do like is talking to someone whom, obviously never having dropped a deck of punch cards themselves, is not overtly attempting to patronise me.
I can't say I'm as pleased with their Kingston store.
I find my mac practical for most of my needs and when necessary through parallels can run Windows. Should I ever decide I want to do some unix stuff it will do that too.
a couple of generations before me it was considered we would only ever need 9 computers in the world.
Hey ho "plus ?change plus ?m? chose"... I guess all of us have something negative to say about the younger (or older) generation if we really want.
I'd prefer to try and find the positive. The guy in Regent Street gave me advice I feel I can trust. What more can I ask for. The guy in Kingston convinced me to go to Regent Street for my next purchase. Apple convinced me to buy from them with their product offering at this point in time.
I don't see a point in being religious about things. I seek out product quality and service. I apply the same principle to my other purchases. Let us accept value (and service) mean different things to different people unless we all want to return to communist approaches to product planning... Now where is that deck of punch cards to program entry of this comment? ;-)
19. James Ramsgate
Opinion is all very well, but there's a lot to be said for objectivity too. Apple stores in the UK have been around long enough for any honeymoon period or novelty factor to have worn off, and yet they remain busy and continue to sell lots of gear.
This would suggest that the problem here lies primarily with Seb Janacek. Clearly a helluva lot of people like the Apple Stores. Why does Seb think he is so special that his opinion his worth more than theirs?
Presumably the irony of a self-righteous "Minority Report" slagging off Apple for their smug attitude is lost on him...
20. Richard Marshall
Seb, you seem to think Apple Stores are there for your benefit.
Foolish boy! It's not for you or me or anyone over 19. Or anybody who wants to get anything useful done or needs advice or has a Mac with a Firewire port...
Its a brand marketing exercise pure and simple aimed at the young, the impressionable and the wannabe cools (the ridiculous sales figures are incidental) - and it works.
Criticising the Apple Store for being basically a play centre for plastic-brained kids is like complaining that Alton Towers doesn't stock serious biographies.
I'm an Apple user for 21 years and still (just) a Mac fan but going into an Apple store makes my teeth ache like eating too many Mars Bars.
Those little electric shocks in your ears? Probably just catching a few grey hairs in your ear buds.
21. Jon Strong
I have just dealt with Apple's Kinston store. The issues were resolved professionally and to my satisfaction. The manager I spoke to was capable and knew how to deal with a customer.